Problems with managing daily life (Life management difficulty)

The term describes a state in which everyday life as a whole becomes overwhelming. Organization, appointments, household chores, work, and caring for a child with mental health issues all come together until one’s own strength is no longer enough. In the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), this is represented by group Z73, which covers difficulties in coping with life.

This is not a disease in its own right, nor is it a diagnosis in the strict sense. A code like Z73 therefore rarely appears on a medical certificate; rather, it describes the underlying context. It refers to a stressful situation that doctors and counseling centers take seriously because persistent overload can, over time, lead to exhaustion or burnout. Most parents do not reach this point on a single terrible day, but rather gradually over many months. That is precisely what makes it so difficult to notice.

The first signs often show up in small ways. Sleep gets worse, even though the fatigue remains. A lost gym bag triggers tears or anger that don’t fit the situation at all. The to-do list feels like a wall.

• Forgetfulness and lapses in concentration; tasks end up being done twice.
• A short fuse with your partner and children.
• Withdrawal from friends, constantly canceling plans because there’s no energy left for socializing.
• Physical complaints with no clear cause: headaches, stomach issues, tension.
• The feeling of just functioning on autopilot and no longer being able to meet anyone’s expectations.

On top of that, many people deal with the invisible mental workload: constantly thinking about everyone else, which never takes a break. A single sign doesn’t mean much. Even high achievers have off weeks now and then. But if several of these signs pile up over weeks and the pressure doesn’t let up even on vacation, that’s a clear sign to take a closer look.

Experts identify three signs of severe burnout: deep exhaustion, emotional detachment, and a noticeable decline in performance. Exhaustion here means more than just feeling tired after a bad night’s sleep. Even on the weekend, you can’t seem to recharge.

Internal detachment becomes apparent when tasks that used to bring joy are now merely checked off a list, sometimes with a bitter aftertaste. The decline in performance affects memory, concentration, and the feeling of constantly falling short of one’s own expectations.

Stress in one’s personal life is enough to cause this condition to develop. According to experts, job-related stress isn’t necessary for this to happen. Unresolved concerns at home and caring for close relatives can also lead to this condition over time. Caring for a sick child is clearly one such factor, often for years on end.

Those who recognize the signs early can often still prevent a breakdown. Many affected individuals overlook the signals for a long time or interpret them as mere weakness. In cases of persistent low mood, lack of motivation, or loss of joy, it’s always important to check whether depression is the underlying cause, as its treatment is different.

No one has to bear this burden alone. There are several options available to parents that can be combined. For example, about 1,500 Caritas professionals nationwide offer counseling on parenting, family life, and crises, usually within a few business days.

• Counseling centers: Parenting and family counseling—for example, through Caritas or Diakonie—is available free of charge, anonymously if desired, and is subject to confidentiality. This can be done in person, via video, by phone, or as written online counseling.
• Early Intervention: For families with children up to three years old, there is voluntary, free support, including home visits upon request.
• Respite Services and Social Benefits: Household help, family care, mother- or father-child health retreats, and care services for chronically ill children. The counseling centers and the federal government’s family portal can clarify which application goes where.

Self-care is just as important: taking short, regular breaks, connecting with someone who makes you feel good, and delegating tasks whenever possible. This is an essential part of reducing your stress and shouldn’t be put off until everything else is done.

The right time to seek help comes sooner than many people think. If the symptoms persist for several weeks, your sleep is disrupted, or your thoughts keep racing at night, the first step is to see your family doctor. They’ll assess your condition, rule out physical causes such as thyroid issues or iron deficiency, and, if necessary, refer you to a psychotherapy practice. For the appointment, it helps to bring a short note listing the most noticeable symptoms from the past few weeks. In acute crises, the telephone counseling service at 0800 111 0 111 is available 24/7 and free of charge.

If a child is showing symptoms in particular, the evaluation should be handled by a doctor or psychotherapist. Only a child and adolescent psychiatry (KJP) clinic or a qualified medical or psychotherapeutic specialist can provide a definitive diagnosis. Rückenwind offers parents coaching and support to help them navigate this phase; it does not replace diagnosis or therapy.