Turn it up

“Going wild” is a term used in everyday family life—not a medical diagnosis. Parents use it to describe a state in which their child suddenly becomes loud, wild, and restless. The child runs through the apartment, giggles shrilly, throws themselves onto the sofa, talks nonstop, and barely responds when spoken to.

A common contradiction described by many parents is this: The child is actually tired, but instead of slowing down, they get faster and faster. In technical terms, this is called overexcitement—that is, an excessively high level of arousal. Their body is wired, even though it has long needed a break. This happens particularly often in the late afternoon and evening, after preschool or school, after birthday parties, or after long periods of screen time. For some children, this hyperactivity is also part of the picture of ADHD.

The ramp-up rarely starts off quietly. Within a few minutes, the mood shifts from normal to hyperactive. Common signs:

• Pace: Movements and speech become faster and louder; the child can no longer find a moment of calm.
• No stopping: Prompts like “calm down” fall on deaf ears; the child can’t slow down on their own.
• Highly sensitive: Minor incidents lead to fits of laughter, whining, or sudden outbursts of anger.
• Body: flushed face, frantic fidgeting, silly to inappropriate behavior.

This wild phase is often followed by a breakdown involving crying or arguments because the child’s energy is completely spent. If your child regularly gets hyper in the evening instead of getting tired, it’s usually because they’ve had a full day that’s still taking its toll. This is related to the feeling of being unable to settle down that many children experience before bedtime.

Getting worked up is a stress response. A child’s nervous system takes in impressions all day long: sounds, light, people, demands, and emotions. If there’s too much of it all, it leads to sensory overload. Instead of winding down, the body switches into a high-drive alarm mode. This explains why an overtired child doesn’t calm down but becomes even more agitated.

Children are not yet able to regulate their arousal levels well on their own. The brain regions responsible for inhibition and impulse control continue to mature into adolescence. Specialized websites describe how children with ADHD have particular difficulty maintaining an arousal level appropriate for a given situation. They exhibit a strong urge to move, uncontrolled motor restlessness, and rapid mood swings. Being hyperactive is therefore not automatically a sign of ADHD. It is, first and foremost, a signal that the system is overloaded.

When a child is overexcited, a calm, external counterbalance helps them, because they can’t figure it out on their own. This form of external calming is called co-regulation.

• Intervene early: “Put on the brakes” in time, before the child gets completely overexcited, rather than waiting until the peak of the excitement to intervene.
• Reduce stimuli: Dim the lights, turn off the TV and music, and briefly ask other children or guests to leave the room.
• Stay calm: Speak in a soft, slow voice, using few words. Parents’ loud voices only make things worse.
• Redirect: Reading aloud, cuddling, doing a puzzle, or slowly tidying up together provide the body with a calming anchor.
• Physical contact: A firm hug or a heavy blanket has a calming effect on many children.

Scolding and arguing are of little use at this moment because the child is barely responsive cognitively. Only once the agitation subsides can they listen again.

Many situations can be defused before the child even starts to get worked up. A reliable routine provides stability for the nervous system.

• Plan transitions: Set aside at least half an hour of quiet time before bedtime, during which rough-and-tumble play gives way to storytime, bath time, or cuddling.
• Set times: Consistent mealtimes and bedtimes, along with a regular evening routine, provide a sense of security.
• Be mindful of stimulation levels: No exciting games in the evening, no screens right before bed, and no packed schedules in the late afternoon.
• Identify triggers: Note when the hyperactivity starts. Often, hunger, tiredness, noise, or the end of a long day are recurring factors.

Enough sleep is the best prevention, because an overtired child is more likely to get hyperactive. If hyperactivity and overtiredness are getting worse, it’s worth looking into the issue of chronic fatigue.

Occasional outbursts are a normal part of childhood and are no cause for concern. You should be concerned if:

• the child acts out almost daily and in multiple areas of life, such as at home and at preschool;
• the hyperactivity begins early, is severe, and persists for many months;
• the urge to move, impulsivity, and concentration problems significantly disrupt daily life;
• the child puts themselves or others in danger or is clearly suffering;

Such patterns may indicate ADHD or other causes. Your first point of contact should be your child’s pediatrician; from there, you may be referred to a child and adolescent psychiatrist if necessary.

Rückenwind Parent coaching supports you in making daily life more peaceful and does not replace a diagnosis or therapy. Only a medical or psychotherapeutic specialist can determine whether the hyperactivity is caused by ADHD or something else.