A sense of injustice

Some children immediately sense when something is distributed unevenly. One child gets a bigger piece of cake. The teacher praises another child for the same achievement. A sibling is allowed to stay up later. Such moments often trigger intense anger or tears in them. Experts refer to this as a strong sense of justice: the tendency to be very attuned to fairness and equal treatment and to physically feel when these principles are violated.

In children with ADHD or high sensitivity, this reaction is often more intense than in their peers. The child then protests on their own behalf or on behalf of others, even if the situation seems trivial to outsiders. Many parents experience this daily at dinner, in the car, or on the playground.

This intuition is evident in specific situations. Here are a few typical observations:

• The child insists on portions that are exactly the same size and counts them again if necessary.
• They react angrily when a rule is applied more leniently to a sibling.
• They defend classmates who, in their view, are being punished unfairly.
• Once a promise is made, it must be kept; otherwise, a major argument ensues.
• Criticism from teachers that the child perceives as unfair continues to bother them for days afterward.

Pediatric medical websites describe ADHD as characterized by severe mood swings, high irritability, and outbursts of anger over minor issues. For many of these children, a perceived injustice is exactly such a trigger. Anger arises quickly and intensely, and it is difficult to calm down.

Several factors come into play. First, impulse control. Professional associations list a lack of cognitive and emotional impulse control as one of the core characteristics of ADHD. A feeling such as outrage is then immediately expressed in words or actions before the child can weigh it carefully.

Second, emotional regulation. The Central ADHD Network cites difficulties regulating one’s own emotions as a common co-occurring issue. The ability to calm down a strong emotion on their own is less developed in these children. As a result, their anger lasts longer and becomes more intense.

For younger children, their stage of development is also a factor. The ability to see things from another’s perspective—that is, to ask, “Why is the other person acting this way right now?”—only develops over the years. As long as this ability is still fragile, any deviation from the child’s own expectations feels like a clear violation of the rules. The idea that an adult might have good reasons is difficult for the child to grasp at that moment.

Predictability is most effective. When consequences and rules are explained in advance and are clear to everyone, much of the anger stemming from a sense of injustice is eliminated. This does not mean rigid egalitarianism. You can point out that different rules apply to different ages: “At ten, you’re allowed to stay up later than your six-year-old sister—that’s how it was for you, too.”

In the heat of the moment, it helps to acknowledge the feeling first before explaining the situation. A sentence like “I can see this is really upsetting you” takes some of the pressure off. Only once the child has calmed down a bit is it worth having a conversation about the reason.

• Explain your reasoning for fairness openly, rather than just wielding power.
• Make promises sparingly and then keep them reliably.
• When a child is very upset, calm them down first, then discuss the issue later.

That keen intuition deserves recognition. Children who perceive injustice so clearly often grow up to courageously stand up for the weak and call out injustices that others overlook.

A strong sense of justice is, in and of itself, a personality trait and does not require treatment. It’s worth taking a closer look if the outbursts of anger are very frequent, last a long time, cause the child significant distress, or have a lasting negative impact on friendships, family, and school. If inattention, restlessness, and impulsivity are also noticeable in several areas of life, a professional evaluation is advisable.

The first point of contact is the pediatrician. Only a child and adolescent psychiatrist or a medical psychotherapist can determine whether ADHD or another condition is the underlying cause. Rückenwind supports parents in sorting things out and staying the course, but it is no substitute for a diagnosis or psychotherapy.