Discharge

Relief means any concrete reduction in the burden on your shoulders: tasks that someone else takes over, hours during which you’re not responsible, and appointments handled by a professional. For parents whose child requires a great deal of mental or physical care, the burden often grows gradually. Doctor’s appointments, school meetings, staying up at night, constantly having to think things through. At some point, one person ends up carrying almost the entire load.

Relief comes in two ways. It takes over practical tasks, such as housework or caregiving. And it creates time slots for sleep, for your own doctor’s appointments, or just to catch your breath. Both of these measures help combat the exhaustion that results from constant stress. In most cases, it takes several components over weeks and months for the pressure to noticeably ease.

Before you start filling out applications and forms, it helps to take a realistic look at your week. For seven days, write down what you do and when. Usually, the list will show three or four tasks that no one but you can do, and many that others could handle as well.

• Sort through the tasks: What can someone else take over without harming your child? Grocery shopping, driving the kids around, doing laundry, cooking.
• Ask specific questions instead of general ones: “Can you pick up the kids from school on Wednesday?” works better than “Let me know if I need help.”
• Schedule a fixed break each week, even if it’s short. Two reliable hours help more than a vague promise of “a vacation sometime.”

These first steps are part of self-care and can be implemented immediately, without involving government agencies and without any waiting period.

In addition to support from your personal network, there are services provided by professionals. Which options are available to you depend on your child’s situation and that of your family. Some services require a recognized care level, while others are available even if the parents are simply ill or overwhelmed. A counseling center can help you determine which options are available to you on a case-by-case basis.

• Household Assistance and Family Care: If a parent is unable to care for the children due to illness, hospitalization, or rehabilitation, a family caregiver can step in. She cares for the children and keeps the household running. Families with a child under the age of twelve are eligible; for a child with a disability, this age limit does not apply. The health insurance provider covers the costs; you are responsible for a copay of 10 percent, with a minimum of five and a maximum of ten euros per day.
• Family Support Services (FeD): These services provide care for a person with a disability on an hourly basis or for several days, either at home or at their facilities. Depending on the case, this is funded through integration assistance or the long-term care insurance fund.
• Respite and Short-Term Care: If your child requires care (care level 2 or higher), the long-term care insurance fund pays for substitute care if you are unable to provide it or need a break. As of July 1, 2025, up to eight weeks per year and a combined total of up to 3,539 euros are available for both services.
• Respite Allowance: Starting at care level 1, up to 131 euros per month is available, earmarked for care and daily living assistance, such as volunteer support groups or hourly care.

Anyone who cares for a child in need of care over an extended period of time can apply for rehabilitation themselves. The health insurance provider covers the costs in accordance with the Social Code, typically as an inpatient program lasting about three weeks. Some hospitals will admit the child in need of care so that you can go at all.

No one can keep track of everything on their own. Counseling centers are familiar with the application process and can calculate what you’re entitled to. Your first points of contact should be the care support centers, the long-term care insurance fund itself, and the family and parenting counseling services offered by Caritas and Diakonie. Many provide free counseling and help with filling out the forms.

The informal support network also remains important: grandparents, neighbors, other parents from the hospital or a support group. Such contacts provide immediate support where government agencies take weeks to respond and help prevent social isolation.

Many parents hesitate for a long time before delegating tasks. They fear it will look like they’re giving up, or believe that no one will take care of their child as well as they do. Both concerns are understandable and often prevent them from making a phone call that could make a big difference.

Getting some relief preserves your energy for the tasks that truly only you can handle. Anyone who keeps going for months on end without a break loses patience, sleep, and health—and in the end, the child feels it too. Taking early action is part of preventive care and works best while you still have the strength.

Coaching, such as that offered at Rückenwind, can help you organize your daily life and plan next steps. It is not a substitute for medical or psychotherapeutic treatment. If the issue involves a diagnosis, your child’s medical condition, or your own emotional distress, the assessment should be handled by a child and adolescent psychiatrist or a medical or psychotherapeutic specialist.