Parent Training

Parent training is a structured course in which parents learn how to respond to their child’s behavior in everyday situations. It focuses on specific situations: arguments before homework time, dawdling in the morning, and tantrums at the supermarket. Experts often refer to this as parent training or behavioral therapy-based parent training.

The course is designed for parents, not for the child. The child is usually not present during the sessions. The idea behind it is that parents spend many hours with their child every day. When they change their reactions, the dynamics between them and their child also change. Parent training is available as individual counseling, as a group course spanning several weeks, and now also as an online self-study program.

Most programs follow a set series of topics that build on one another over the course of 8 to 20 sessions. Between sessions, parents are given small tasks to do at home, and at the next session, they discuss what worked and what didn’t.

Typical components include:

• Recognizing and rewarding positive behavior: Praise and small reward systems for things the child finds difficult, such as getting started on their own or sitting quietly at the table.
• Clear, calm instructions: short, unambiguous instructions instead of long discussions.
• Appropriate consequences: pre-agreed consequences for problematic behavior, without escalation.
• Managing your own reactions: noticing when you yourself are getting angry and finding ways to avoid getting caught up in the moment.

Experts emphasize one prerequisite in particular: The primary caregivers must be willing to cooperate. Parenting training isn’t a counseling session you attend just once. It thrives on trying things out in your own living room.

There are several proven programs in Germany. For children with ADHD and severe oppositional behavior, THOP—the therapy program for children with hyperkinetic and oppositional problem behavior—is well known. It is used as part of medical or psychotherapeutic treatment.

In addition, there are free online resources. The ADHD Parent Trainer was developed in collaboration with child and adolescent psychiatrist Manfred Döpfner and is freely accessible. Through 44 short videos, it depicts typical family situations and uses them to explain behavioral therapy methods. Parents can use it without registering. While such digital training programs are not a substitute for a formal diagnosis, they do provide parents with immediate, practical guidance while they are still waiting for an appointment.

Many programs are part of a broader behavioral therapy approach and operate on the same basic principles of reinforcement and clear structure.

The medical guidelines on ADHD list parent training as an integral part of treatment. They incorporate it into an overall approach known as multimodal therapy. This approach involves multiple strategies simultaneously: family counseling, interventions at preschool or school, treatment for the child itself (depending on age), and, in some cases, medication.

For younger children, especially those not yet of school age, parent training is often the first step. Before a child’s sixth birthday, the guidelines recommend non-medication approaches first, and parent training is part of that. The reason is simple: It is difficult to treat young children directly, but their environment can be influenced. Effective parent training almost always includes psychoeducation for parents—that is, clear, understandable information about what happens in a child with ADHD.

Parents often report that daily power struggles become less frequent and the atmosphere at home becomes calmer. Instead of reacting to every outburst, they have a plan. This takes the pressure off—including for the child, who experiences clearer rules and more genuine praise. Parenting training doesn’t promise miracles, and not every child responds to the same extent. But it does make a difference in how a family navigates difficult moments.

Parenting training can be found through pediatricians’ offices, social pediatric centers, parenting counseling services, and child and adolescent psychiatry clinics. Many health insurance providers cover these courses or refer parents to approved online programs.

As a parent coach, Rückenwind guides parents on this journey and helps them organize their daily lives. Whether ADHD or another cause lies behind a child’s behavior can only be determined by a child and adolescent psychiatry clinic or a medical or psychotherapeutic specialist. Parenting training does not replace this assessment; it complements it.