Eating Disorders and Puberty (The Connection from a Parent's Perspective)

Most eating disorders first appear between the ages of 12 and 17. Many factors come together during this period. The body changes in just a few months—weight increases, body shape shifts, and one’s own reflection in the mirror feels unfamiliar. At the same time, adolescents are breaking away from their parents and developing their own attitudes toward appearance, achievement, and belonging.

Eating is one of the few areas over which a teenager has almost complete control. Those who feel they have little influence in their daily lives can establish a sense of control through portion sizes, calories, or exercise. This pattern is particularly evident in anorexia. According to surveys of German adolescents, about one in five people between the ages of 11 and 17 show signs of disordered eating; among girls between the ages of 14 and 17, the figure is as high as about one in three.

Puberty is the time when teenagers figure out who they want to be. The body becomes a stage for this. A flat stomach or visible muscles then come to symbolize discipline, success, or self-worth. When things go wrong at school, with friends, or within the family, the body comes to the forefront as a canvas that can seemingly be shaped.

Added to this is the pressure to compare. In class chats, on sports fields, and on social media, teens are constantly exposed to edited images of bodies and hear comments about body types. The article on eating disorders and social media describes just how intense this pressure can be. A teenager who loses weight or changes their diet isn’t necessarily sick. It becomes a warning sign when thoughts about food, weight, and body shape dominate their daily life.

Many teenagers experiment with their diets. They become vegetarians, skip a meal, eat the same thing for days on end, or get very hungry after exercising. These phases are a normal part of growing up and usually go away on their own.

Things take a different turn when strict rules and anxiety come into play. Watch out for:

• rigid eating rituals, such as weighing or chopping up food, or eating only at specific times
• withdrawing from family meals, making excuses like “I’ve already eaten,” or eating alone in their room
• constant preoccupation with calories, weight, and body shape, frequent weighing, or checking their reflection in the mirror
• secretly eating large amounts of food, followed by trips to the bathroom or excessive exercise
• rapid weight loss, missed periods, constantly feeling cold, or exhaustion

A single sign is not proof on its own. If these signs accumulate over weeks and your child also experiences changes in mood and energy levels, you should take a closer look.

Don’t wait until their weight drops to a dangerously low level. An eating disorder that is addressed and treated early has a better chance of recovery. Find a quiet moment when there are no plates on the table. Describe what you’ve specifically observed, without making accusations: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been skipping dinner and jogging a lot for the past few weeks.”

Expect resistance. Many people with eating disorders don’t see their behavior as a problem for a long time and downplay concerns. Stay calm and persistent nonetheless. Keep shared meals as a consistent routine without turning the dinner table into a daily battlefield. Seek advice early on, even if your child resists at first. You don’t need a definitive diagnosis to seek support.

The first point of contact is a pediatrician’s office. There, weight, growth, and physical consequences can be assessed, and referrals can be arranged. The BIÖG’s eating disorder portal offers free and anonymous counseling—by phone and online—specifically for parents and family members as well.

For adolescents with anorexia, family-based therapy is considered a well-established approach. In this approach, parents are actively involved and temporarily resume responsibility for meals. The appropriate treatment depends on the patient’s age, the type of disorder, and its severity.

Rückenwind It supports you as parents through this time, but does not replace medical treatment. A confirmed diagnosis and the medical treatment of an eating disorder should be handled exclusively by a child and adolescent psychiatry clinic or a medical or psychotherapeutic specialist.