Stress

Stress is a physical reaction to demands. Stimuli that are experienced as a burden are called stressors: time pressure, noise, arguments, an exam, too many appointments. When the brain perceives such a stimulus as a burden, it sends a signal to the adrenal glands. They release adrenaline and cortisol. The heart beats faster, blood pressure rises, blood sugar levels spike, and blood flow to the muscles increases.

Within seconds, the body mobilizes energy to fight or flee. This fight-or-flight response dates back to a time when physical danger was a real threat. Once the stressor has passed, hormone levels return to normal. It works the same way for children, except that they often react more intensely to situations that adults consider minor: giving a presentation in front of the class, an argument with their best friend, or the first day in a new group.

Experts distinguish between acute and chronic stress. Acute stress is short-lived and passes quickly. It is rarely harmful; a brief stress response generally does not make you sick. Problems arise when the stress does not subside. With chronic stress, stress responses occur repeatedly, cortisol levels remain elevated, and the body cannot return to a state of rest.

Over weeks and months, this disrupts sleep, concentration, and the immune system. Muscle tension leads to stiffness, headaches, and back pain. Susceptibility to infections increases. Over time, persistent stress raises the risk of cardiovascular disease, anxiety, and depression. In children, chronic stress often first manifests physically: stomachaches before school, headaches with no organic cause, and trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. The younger the child, the more likely the body will speak instead of words.

Children rarely say on their own that they’re stressed. They show it through their behavior. Parents should take notice if their child’s behavior changes significantly and persists for a while:

• Frequent headaches or stomachaches for which the pediatrician finds no physical cause
• Sleep problems, nightmares, waking up feeling drained and constantly tired—even to the point of exhaustion
• Irritability, sudden outbursts of anger, or aggression
• Withdrawal from friends, lack of interest in activities that used to bring joy
• Difficulty concentrating, indecisiveness, declining grades

Occasional bad days are normal; children also have good and bad phases. The warning sign lies in the pattern: frequent, persistent, with consequences at daycare, school, or home. According to the Federal Center for Health Education, about one in six children between the ages of 3 and 17 is at increased risk for mental health issues.

Children are strongly influenced by their parents’ behavior. If you’re rushing through your day, that’s what you’ll pass on to them. That’s why a calmer routine is more helpful than a rigid schedule.

• Fixed, calm rituals: cooking and eating together, a storytime evening, a consistent bedtime routine
• Cut back on commitments. Packed afternoons and too many hobbies leave little time to unwind
• Exercise in the fresh air reduces stress hormones
• Listen without immediately offering a solution. A child who is allowed to express their frustration calms down more easily

Young children cannot yet soothe their own emotions on their own. They need a calm adult by their side who supports them. This shared soothing is called co-regulation and is the precursor to later emotional regulation. Older children benefit from simple coping strategies and relaxation exercises such as calm breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.

If the signs of stress persist for weeks, if stomachaches or headaches don’t go away, if the child becomes withdrawn, or if their school performance suffers, that’s a reason to seek advice. The first place to turn is the pediatrician’s office. The pediatrician will rule out any physical causes and refer the child to a specialist if necessary. Stressful events such as a parental separation, a serious illness, or a loss in the family can increase the risk of mental health problems and warrant early support.

Rückenwind She provides coaching support to parents and strengthens daily family life. This does not replace a diagnosis or therapy. Janike is a social worker and parent coach currently training to become a child and adolescent psychotherapist; she is not licensed and does not make diagnoses. Only a child and adolescent psychiatrist (KJP) or a medical psychotherapist can determine whether the symptoms indicate a disorder requiring treatment.